The resurrection

‘Look, up in the sky!!!’

‘It’s a bird!!!’

‘It’s a flying polka dotted purple elephant with pinstriped wings wearing a cashmere fur coat and singing ‘it’s raining men…hallelujah!’’

‘It’s…’

CUT!!!

‘Fuck!!! What the fuck is going on?!? I fucking paid you guys for a fucking brilliant entry. I even settled for the fucking porn writers’ guild because they did dialogues fucking cheap, just so I could get a fucking brilliant entry. So what’s the fucking deal, Shpealberg?!?’

‘We just received a copy of your bank statement you shmuck!’

*Guy holds up a poorly fabricated card saying ‘and once again the day is saved fucked, all thanks to g-man’s bank account*


Damn! That movie idea didn’t work out pretty well. But anyhow, I’m back. Yes, woohoo!!! G-man is back (applaud at this point…please…pretty please?) Lotsa stuff has been happening over here. Our exams which were to end on Aug 5, finally ended yesterday. (No comments here. Well actually, fuck that! Now our chances of getting out of college early have been completely fucked by the university. So I’m thinking of training a million monkeys to pee on the bewigged head of the fucking controller of examinations). Well, I must confess, it was partly owing to Kerala’s er…national pastime, which is called a hartal, or, in layman’s terms, a fucking strike for absolutely no fucking reason. We had an exam postponed because the opposition party declared a hartal against the ruling communist party, because apparently, one paragraph of a fucking 7th grade social science text book advocates communism. Fucking bullshit if you ask me! See this for details. Now if it had said ‘thou shalt be a communist’, I would’ve been pretty miffed too, if I was part of the opposition party. But this makes me go ‘fucking pricks!!!’

In other news, I’m glad to inform you, my loyal fan(s) that I have been placed in a company (I am not mentioning which as I would not like to jeopardize my future job :|) It’s a funny story actually…the three of us (Gov, Hektor and I) were in the first batch of interviewees. We only found out when we were waiting for the test results. And that too, after our names had been called out. By then, it was too late to go and change into the very formal clothes (and tie, in my case) we had brought for this very eventuality, so we ended up attending the interview wearing beach shirts :| Luckily, the interviewer didn’t comment on my attire. He didn’t say anything much either (tall, dark, silent, intimidating guy…I was, like, totally wtf?!?) At the end of it, he actually thanked me for taking time to attend the interview. I thanked him for taking time to conduct the interview that enabled me to take time to attend it :| it was all one big mushy farewell. At the end of it, I was thinking ‘Wow, maybe he thanked me because of my amazingly casual style of dressing…being unprepared to change the way I was just for an interview. This is awesome!’ As it turns out though, he thanked everyone whom he interviewed :| drat!!!

Ok, enough of this boring stuff. I’m officially back!!! And I’d like to thank all ofmy loyal fan(s) friends friend brain spleen who supported me through this torturous ordeal, and who have to tolerate more of my posts now. But first, I’ve got a million blogs to read :D Cya!

P.S. HA ha!

hiatus

hey sorry everyone...i've been in a shit mood over the last few weeks n now exams have started. will check your blogs as soon as they get over, which will be on aug 5. tc all, rock on!!!

my point of view

For a very long time, I’ve wanted to put down the reasons why I don’t believe in god. The end result was pretty puerile the last time I tried. This time, I’ll try to put them down as best I can.

My perception of god was that he/she was an omnipotent and omniscient being, responsible for the creation of everything that exists, a higher power if you will. Yes, I was monotheistic despite being a Hindu, for I had always found the concept of multiple gods quite impossible to comprehend. I think the arguments against the presence of a demiurge would be on the same note, but I have never believed in one. The importance is on cause, i.e. god caused existence and was solely responsible for everything in it. God is one who is invested with goodness, morality, justice, benevolence, knowledge, objectiveness and, of course, power. All the definitions I have come across cover all or most of these qualities, and are, I think, fundamentally flawed.

By resorting to causality, we neglect the one basic question. We say god created everything, but conveniently do not ask for the one cause, the cause of god. (Or, if you would like to go with the explanation that the devil created everything when god wasn’t looking, you can, its all the bloody same except for the fact that now you have to believe in both a god and a red dude with horns and a pointy tail.) Every question about existence inexorably leads to the first cause, which we take for granted. Here I’d like to say that I believe that the macrocosm exists because of itself (insert big bang theory here). My logic isn’t any different now is it? In both cases, something is said to be the cause of its own existence, and it is. Sure, you could counter that by saying that if certain fundamental quantities and objects were just a little bit different, nothing would exist. You would be right on that account, and you would also be ignoring the probability of these fundamental quantities being, well, not different from what they are now. We can assign a value to that probability if we knew exactly how many variables we were talking about, but since we don’t, let’s just stop at the place where we become aware of such a probability. Maybe if we thought hard enough, we would arrive at the conclusion that everything exists here, just as it did not exist (because of the difference in the aforesaid fundamental quantities) in a whole bloody lot of other random occurrences like the one which started this, let us call it, universe. Or, maybe, there are other planes of existence where things are different, and that we haven’t quite broken through to, yet. I’d like to suggest that you read Dr. Corey G Washington’s spark plug analogy – it’s not very comprehensive, but it explains quite a bit.

The above argument brooks yet another one, that of complexity which, in my opinion, is pretty easy to counter. It’s fairly easy to look at the complexities of occurrences and opine that there is some greater power at work. But hey, the laws of physics are mighty complex, and explain what goes on. The anomalies in them merely assert the fact that we haven’t yet begun to unravel what goes on around us, and also serve to make the laws more comprehensive by adding on to them. Oh, and if you’re looking for complex, try researching Brownian motion, that’ll tell you how something that seems so very simple can actually be bloody complex!

But then again, if there was no god, then there wouldn’t be any objective values and only relativity to define the concepts of good and evil. Well, what’s wrong with that? I completely agree! There are no objective values because everything is tainted by thought processes and emotions. It all comes down to evolution and not some higher power who etches morals in stone. I mean sure, you could counter that statement with something like ‘what about the people who go around raping minors and torturing innocent people?’ Well, clearly, the person in question does not think it wrong, so the absolute values notion lies shattered, does it not? Even if the person knows it’s wrong and cannot help it, it doesn’t prove the existence of objective moral values. The act is condemned and deemed shocking because it appeals to human emotions and is also against any kind of social norm, not any sort of objective bullshit that drives us all to act nice.

Finally we come to the human factor. I think every human being has a void inside which he/she tries to fill up with whatever suits him/her. It is always a good feeling to know that there’s someone watching out for you and who’ll correct you if you’re wrong, every step of the way; someone you can count on, every minute of every day, someone you can go to, and more importantly, someone to aspire towards. No I’m not saying we all want to be like ‘god’, I’m just saying that we have this notion of a perfect person in our head, which we aspire to attain unsuccessfully. I believe it’s this notion that took the shape of a higher power, this and the fact that we are obsessed with creating stuff.

Do you think that if there really was a divine being, omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent, causing the existence of everything as we know it, invested with objective moral values, and who brings about justice, then things would be the way they are today? Do you not think that if such a being were to create something, it would be perfect and not riddled with the flaws that make up our world? Would such a being even need to intervene to keep things in balance? And, pray tell, how would a being that was both all-merciful and who also brought about justice treat someone who is damnably guilty? By forgiving them? Or by letting them burn in the fires of hell till kingdom come?

On thinking about it, I thought it would be prudent to be an agnostic, because I don’t think anyone will ever have any definitive proof. Well I don’t think it can be proved that god does not exist, because other than cognition, there is no other way to go about it, and someone or the other will always argue against this proof. So, throwing prudence to the winds, I became an atheist, because that is what my logic told me, and that is what it still tells me now.

:|

it seems i have gotten down with a serious case of "wannabe-writer's block". so, in the absence of any tags, i have decided to put up something else =D a test result!!! well, fortunately, there are tests on sites that are not your average tickle clingy feel-good tests, and actually give you an honest answer. i enjoyed taking this one, and enjoyed the results even more. the algorithm behind the result evaluation got it spot on for once! so here goes :D

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Apathy Your life is marked by quite a bit of apathy: You don’t seem to care much about the direction of your own life, much less society in general. I would find a quote or two to better describe the virtues and thoughts behind apathy, but ironically those who would espouse the concept of apathy are too apathetic to write about it. “Eh, who cares?” --Myself, just now... More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Apathy 100% Strong Egoism 100% Justice (Fairness) 85% Nihilism 80% Existentialism 25% Kantianism 20% Hedonism 0% Divine Command 0% Utilitarianism 0%

ta dah!

mum was too tired to clean up my room on saturday, so that has been indefinitely postponed i guess. maybe in the next five year plan. hopefully before i have to get out of this place :) i think i want to see my room clean at least once. that hasn't happened ever since i moved into it. funny how a room that seemed so big initially can get so full of stuff and yet not contain all the stuff that it could contain.there's a coupla more tags i received in the meantime, which i intend to do now...

poo tagged me with the secrets tag. i'm supposed to put up ten of my super secrets on here. i have plenty to spare, so this won't be an issue. here they are...

1. i do nothing about my hair. i shampoo it when i remember that i’ve got a bottle of shampoo in my bathroom and i’m not feeling too lazy. i do not comb my hair before going out either – i just get out of the shower, get dressed, and go wherever it is i want to go

2. i used to believe in true love. i don’t any more
3. i find it near impossible to understand most kinds of verse

4. when working together with others, i have this tendency to check everything they do, and most of the time, they don’t even realize it. i find it impossible to trust anyone even for the simplest of things

5. i am an egoist, out and out

6. i tend to get into these suicidal phases when i’m depressed. i’ve even tried to kill myself once. it didn’t work, but that’s a different story. don’t ask me about this one, i won’t tell you

7. gay people have made moves on me fifteen times, till date
8. i was a really sensitive person, but now i’ve become numb to most of the stuff that happens to me

9. i have been approached by a pimp who asked me if i’d like to try out one of his er…clients. my response? i am still a virgin – i guess that answers your question!

10. i have bipolar disorder





humbl devil tagged me with the i tag. its arbit stuff about myself. here that one goes...


i am: (prefix a/an as you see fit) atheist, egoist, introvert, humorist, nihilist, misanthrope

i think: all the time. loads more than you think i do, if you know me

i know: not so much, but i get by

i want: to do something that puts my life on the edge; the proverbial running the gauntlet, if you will

i have: intelligence, reason and the ability to stay quiet

i wish: i was free in the true sense of the word

i hate: backstabbers, people who don’t use deodorant or breath-mint, habitual liars

i miss: that feeling of completeness

i fear: hah!

i feel: numbness

i hear: me talking to myself in my head

i smell: breakfast

i crave: adrenaline rushes

i search: for a point

i wonder: why?

i regret: trusting some people

i love: coffee, chocolate, ice cream, a few shots of vodka and a couple of davidoffs, just hanging out with certain people

i ache: no more

i am not: someone who doesn’t say what he feels; nice; pleasant; conversation oriented

i dance: worse than ellen de generes

i sing: in my bathroom, metal mostly

i cry: but i don’t

i dont always: do what i’m told by my superiors

i fight: with myself a lot, and also with anyone who rubs me the wrong way

i write: straight from the head

i win: people over when i want to – its always been that way

i lose: when i have irrational hope

i never: hurt anyone unless they hurt me

i always: try to be by myself and not bother anyone

i confuse: most of the people I know

i listen: if something interesting is being said

i can usually be found: online, in front of the tv, or in my room

i need: chaos

i am happy about: the fact that i am here :)

i imagine: what my life will be like in a few years, just for the heck of it

i tag: *insert name here*

me[dot]jpg

foreword: hi N-man!!! my partner in crime has finally decided to start blogging!

ok, this is not a picture of me. well not of the actual me. its a collage representation of myself. actually, its a tag (sriram tagged me with this one), but it so didn't feel like one! i suck at photoshop at the best of times, but i think i managed to come up with something half-decent. so here goes. this is me, as abstract as you can get, in a jpg :) go clockwise from bottom left!

(the picture)

the explanation:

1. the background shows a lone wolf silhouetted against the moon. a lone wolf is the animal i identify with, for obvious reasons...
2. the completely wack shot of the bass guitar is there for my love of music (read as metal)
3. the picture right above and to the left of the guitar is a bar. which is not there to showcase my inebriatedness, its just a place i like to hang out in, simply because people are too busy getting sloshed to notice you. the fact that you can get sloshed kinda adds importance to this. at least to me it does.
4. at the centre, right to the left of the wolf, is a still from unreal tournament 2004. i love fragging and i love ut04 in particular. i like computer games in general :) except hitman, of course
5. i love blowing smoke rings. they look damn good, and they get you damn high because you hold the smoke in your lungs for longer!
6. i like vodka. why? go figure! i just do!!! though i can't always have smirnoff owing to the fact that its fucking costly where i live...how costly? 120 bucks for a peg!
7. i don't think i could go on for very long without a book in my hand (fiction of course). ergo the bookshelf
8. when i'm depressed, blue, or just need some time to think, i just sit somewhere by myself and take a couple of drags. to me, that's one of the best feelings in the world.
9. i am a die-hard manchester united fan. i've been one for thirteen years now. red to the core!!!
10. that's a dragon...yup! i am amazed, interested, mesmerised, and a whole lot of other similar adjectives by fantasy. which is probably why i have read every single fantasy book in the local library.
11. that last one is a stand-up comic stage. i'm a funny guy, and i love making my friends laugh. if you're not my friend, and i'm funny, its a defence mechanism, so bugger off why don't ya?

now i get to tag people. so i tag N (your first tag man!!!), cain (there ya go dude ;)), bob (surprise surprise!) and hera (i know you're totally going to whoop ass on this one)

i spy!!!

Ok, wow…for the first time in years, ma and I cleaned up my room. Those of you who have been there will know the extent of my messiness. This post is for those of you who haven’t been to my room. Of course, I wrote the above sentences with the impression that there might be people reading who may/may not know me and who may/may not give a fuck. Or I’d just be talking to myself, which is quite like me, so I guess that doesn’t change things in the least! So, armed with my trusty (and favourite) chequered blue hanky, and looking like a complete arse (read as terrorist), I set out to assist ma in clearing my room. For those of you (imaginary or otherwise) who do not know me, my room is a total mess. If an earthquake hit, it’d only look better. It must have something to do with the fact that the more intelligent the person, the more of a mess they make :) (Make a pj out of this and I kick your butt from wherever you are to Papua New Guinea! If you live in Papua New Guinea…yay! Thanks for dropping by. I never thought someone from Papua New Guinea would read my blog. Where is Papua New Guinea anyways? I’m obsessed with the country! All right, getting back to the topic at hand…)

(Uh-sama byn G-man)

I think I have already briefed you about the messiness of my room. Ma took a quick survey and decided to take my suggestion, which was ‘lets just clean the stuff on the floor now’, which essentially consisted of approximately a metric tonne of stuff dating back to two million years before the antediluvian era. Here is what we found on my floor…in chronological order, of course. O yea, it’s only fair to remind you, I’m currently waiting for the final year of my four year graduate course to start (just one set of exams to get through). What does this have to do with anything? Just read (do I here an echo?)

1. A pile of my laundry (yea, I just pile them up in a corner of my room)

2. A pair of old socks…old as in really, really old!

3. Three umbrellas. Now I know why there’s an umbrella shortage at home. Unfortunately, my ma didn’t see the lighter side of it. I feel extremely lucky to have escaped unscathed after being face to face with ma holding a couple of pretty big (and hard) umbrellae in her hands. Btw, why the fuck isn’t the plural of umbrella ‘umbrellae’?

4. Underneath all of that, my cricket bat!!! I’ve been searching for it for ages now. I can finally play again :D

5. A couple of my old school bags. One even had the matchbox I took for our chemistry practicals. That prompted awkward questions, understandably, it being my ma. My snoopy servant (who was there to help us) rummaged through the bag, found the matchbox, specifically went to my ma (who was standing in the opposite corner and getting some fresh air by the window) and told her about the matchbox. Thank goodness they didn’t go through the bag I currently use. If they’d opened up the side compartment, the room would’ve been flooded with the smell of tobacco :|

6. There were three separate piles of stuff in my room. One wasn’t exactly a pile; it was the bag I took during my trip to Mumbai. It still had a couple of the jeans I had taken there. Ma just had to quip “do you plan on keeping them in that bag till your next trip to Mumbai”. I couldn’t come up with a good retort, so I just stuck my tongue out at her and grinned goofily. Moms just have to have the last word, don’t they?

7. And then we came to the pile. Chest high, it consisted of every book known to an ISC student (albeit covered in a nice thick layer of dust, cobwebs, and clumps of lizard poop). Rummaged through that for a while…found a coupla items that I wanted to save. Kinda had to throw the rest out because ma was glaring holes right through me when I looked at some of the stuff longingly. Fortunately for me, she went outside the room to get some more fresh air, and I snuck a few books and papers onto my shelf when she was gone *evil grin!*

8. As it turned out, the pile was piled up on top of a carton filled with my ninth and tenth standard books. That has given me the inspiration I needed to complete ‘stuff, part 3’ (see 1 and 2 here).

9. My dust allergy…new and improved

Obviously, the above process took an hour. Three people working for an hour can do quite a bit of work. Hell, my floor is clean! Now there’s just my chair, my table, my shelf, my draw, the compartment under my draw, my dresser and my loft left to clean up. We have planned on commencing with stage 2 of operation nut-job, on Saturday.