Wednesday, June 18, 2008

i spy!!!

Ok, wow…for the first time in years, ma and I cleaned up my room. Those of you who have been there will know the extent of my messiness. This post is for those of you who haven’t been to my room. Of course, I wrote the above sentences with the impression that there might be people reading who may/may not know me and who may/may not give a fuck. Or I’d just be talking to myself, which is quite like me, so I guess that doesn’t change things in the least! So, armed with my trusty (and favourite) chequered blue hanky, and looking like a complete arse (read as terrorist), I set out to assist ma in clearing my room. For those of you (imaginary or otherwise) who do not know me, my room is a total mess. If an earthquake hit, it’d only look better. It must have something to do with the fact that the more intelligent the person, the more of a mess they make :) (Make a pj out of this and I kick your butt from wherever you are to Papua New Guinea! If you live in Papua New Guinea…yay! Thanks for dropping by. I never thought someone from Papua New Guinea would read my blog. Where is Papua New Guinea anyways? I’m obsessed with the country! All right, getting back to the topic at hand…)

(Uh-sama byn G-man)

I think I have already briefed you about the messiness of my room. Ma took a quick survey and decided to take my suggestion, which was ‘lets just clean the stuff on the floor now’, which essentially consisted of approximately a metric tonne of stuff dating back to two million years before the antediluvian era. Here is what we found on my floor…in chronological order, of course. O yea, it’s only fair to remind you, I’m currently waiting for the final year of my four year graduate course to start (just one set of exams to get through). What does this have to do with anything? Just read (do I here an echo?)

1. A pile of my laundry (yea, I just pile them up in a corner of my room)

2. A pair of old socks…old as in really, really old!

3. Three umbrellas. Now I know why there’s an umbrella shortage at home. Unfortunately, my ma didn’t see the lighter side of it. I feel extremely lucky to have escaped unscathed after being face to face with ma holding a couple of pretty big (and hard) umbrellae in her hands. Btw, why the fuck isn’t the plural of umbrella ‘umbrellae’?

4. Underneath all of that, my cricket bat!!! I’ve been searching for it for ages now. I can finally play again :D

5. A couple of my old school bags. One even had the matchbox I took for our chemistry practicals. That prompted awkward questions, understandably, it being my ma. My snoopy servant (who was there to help us) rummaged through the bag, found the matchbox, specifically went to my ma (who was standing in the opposite corner and getting some fresh air by the window) and told her about the matchbox. Thank goodness they didn’t go through the bag I currently use. If they’d opened up the side compartment, the room would’ve been flooded with the smell of tobacco :|

6. There were three separate piles of stuff in my room. One wasn’t exactly a pile; it was the bag I took during my trip to Mumbai. It still had a couple of the jeans I had taken there. Ma just had to quip “do you plan on keeping them in that bag till your next trip to Mumbai”. I couldn’t come up with a good retort, so I just stuck my tongue out at her and grinned goofily. Moms just have to have the last word, don’t they?

7. And then we came to the pile. Chest high, it consisted of every book known to an ISC student (albeit covered in a nice thick layer of dust, cobwebs, and clumps of lizard poop). Rummaged through that for a while…found a coupla items that I wanted to save. Kinda had to throw the rest out because ma was glaring holes right through me when I looked at some of the stuff longingly. Fortunately for me, she went outside the room to get some more fresh air, and I snuck a few books and papers onto my shelf when she was gone *evil grin!*

8. As it turned out, the pile was piled up on top of a carton filled with my ninth and tenth standard books. That has given me the inspiration I needed to complete ‘stuff, part 3’ (see 1 and 2 here).

9. My dust allergy…new and improved

Obviously, the above process took an hour. Three people working for an hour can do quite a bit of work. Hell, my floor is clean! Now there’s just my chair, my table, my shelf, my draw, the compartment under my draw, my dresser and my loft left to clean up. We have planned on commencing with stage 2 of operation nut-job, on Saturday.

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Blogger Philip said...

Stage 2 of the operation in the next 5 year plan? :)

Blogger humbl devil said...

dude get urself checked for radiation exposure...

Blogger GettingThereNow said...

:D Good luck.... your Ma! She doesn't know but she has taken up a herculean task.

Oh, and does she read your blog? I wouldn't mention the tobacco or the books you snuck back in if she does. I'd guard the url with my life if she doesn't - if I were you, that is!

Good luck with the exams.

Blogger P said...

he house looks quite similar however, I know the location of every thing (even tiny insignificant things) in the mess. If someone comes and cleans it, I will definitely be in trouble then :P Used to have fights with my ma before leaving home.

Happy cleaning and hope you can keep it that way!

Blogger Hari Shanker said...

Whee! Nice room you have! :P
Loved the pic. Osama G Man would've been a better title, anyway! :-)

Weren't you using that 'chequered-hankey' from the good ol' days at school? Felt quite a bit of deja vu, seeing it, that's why. :D

Blogger Keshi said...

in years? lol g-man!

Love that secretive n all ha ;-)

My room is always clean n neat n wut-not. U know, Im a clean-freak!


Blogger g-man said...

philip: yea, ma will prolly do it once i move out of here :D i don't think i'll let her right now!

humbl: yea, that and the nicotine level in my blood. i'm pretty sure my blood can drop a herd of horses right now!

Blogger g-man said...

gettingtherenow: ah yes, good luck to her indeed! she doesn't read my blog. and i'm not too worried about that. she doesn't even know how to log into her e-mail account, so i think i'm pretty safe for the moment :)

p: yea, i know. its so much easier to find stuff in the mess. but ma insists on trying to clean my room! i can't do anything about that. once she sets her mind to do something, nothing can change it!!!

Blogger g-man said...

hari: o yea, i love my room. it looks so big now that the floor isn't piled with crap! n about the pic, i wouldn't wanna get indicted with character fraud :D

yep, i've been using that hanky ever since my 11th standard. wow, how do you remember these things?!?

Blogger g-man said...

keshi: yep, in years! the table has been cleaned up once, but it gets back to being the same!

and secretive? wow, i just put on the hanky to make sure i don't breathe in any dust :)

nobody here is a clean freak. i guess it runs in the genes =D

how do you manage to find stuff in all the neatness? i find it near-impossible to do that unless its a mess

Blogger Keshi said...

**how do you manage to find stuff in all the neatness? i find it near-impossible to do that unless its a mess

:) I dunno...I was like that since childhood. or else I'll go mad.


Blogger Nirmal said...

hahah bro....

so finally u will be living in a human room i guess...

even i hate to live in a mess..but i hate to clean up2....

so when i was in hostel..mine wud have been looked like urs(past)...

but as now i m at home my room looks like ur room(present)..

Blogger comfortably numb said...

gr8,seems sum1's sweating it out,eh??
best wishes for phase 2 ops:D

Blogger Solitaire said...

I am sure we can be in competition for the messiest room!

Blogger The Smokin' WDM2 said...

damn.. and I still have to wade into my room. Lets see if I can pay anybody to clean it up.

Yes, why not umbrellae(for a bit of dignity)? Why not zebrae? why not brae? hehe ;)

Blogger g-man said...

keshi: i doubt i'd be able to continue if i couldn't figure out which book was under which tee :D

Blogger g-man said...

nirmal: o i don't mind living in a mess. i don't clean coz i'm allergic to dust :) ma doesn't clean coz she doesn't get time. it was a perfect arrangement. not any more tho! she's obsessed with cleaning my room now :(

saim: o yea, definitely sweating it out. lol, thanks!

Blogger g-man said...

solitaire: o yea, put up your dukes!

sriram: why would you want it cleaned up? the only reason i cleaned up my bed was because i got tired of sleeping on the floor :| now both my bed and the floor of my room are neat :) rofl @ the plurals. we should start a dictionary of our own man...

Blogger Keshi said...

haha u messy person! :)


Blogger Sach said...

in years??
Did u chk wid d guiness book of world records..Your post seems that u might hav set records if you cud hav waited some more years :D

Blogger Deepti said...

Wondering how you didnt get lost in there :)

Blogger N-Man said...

YO Man !!!! "Birds of a feather flock together"

Blogger Destination unknown said...

wow..u...cleaned d room..i cant believe dat....hehe..hmm.....z it a dilution or z it 4 real....u should have put d picture of d room...u know..hehe..solid proof...lolz...n i cud get inspired..from the path u set...i me long time wanna 2 clean the room...but.........:)

Blogger cain l337pwn3r said...

bin there don tht[:d]

Blogger ani said...

first of all for cleaning up the room.. is this like 5 year plan thingyy..

oh well will come back and see if there is a blog on saturday.. for the part 2 anyways ;)

i know wht you mean about all the cleaning and the pile of clothes.. hehe and the incident with the match box.. hehe remember my bro's room.. lucky u no bottles lying around.. just asking.. not jumping to any conclusions.. :)

Blogger g-man said...

sach: yep, in years. damn, i should've had a blog when i was still at my old house. it took 4 people 3 days to clean up my room and pack up all the stuff that needed to be taken to our new house :) trust me, i don't need a record. i pretty much know i'm the messiest person around here!

Blogger g-man said...

deepti: well aren't we all? :D

n-man: lol yea, your room reminds me of my room :)

vinita: i'll put up a pic of my shelf and my loft in the next post. maybe even my cubby :D before and after shots would do nicely i think

Blogger g-man said...

cain: yea yea!

ani: more like a 10 year plan all bunched up into 4 days :D and about the bottles bit, naw, we usually go to a bar :P thanks for droppin by

Blogger Sriram said...

its the death of a profile man... chk blog :D

Blogger Macadamia The Nut said...

Thanks. I really really needed that laugh!!! You don't know how much! :(
Err I eman... :D :D ::

This one was especially funny..
"Thank goodness they didn’t go through the bag I currently use. If they’d opened up the side compartment, the room would’ve been flooded with the smell of tobacco :|"

"That has given me the inspiration I needed to complete ‘stuff, part 3’ (see 1 and 2 here)."
You haven't hyperlinked :D

Blogger Sach said...

hey the older version of me would have surely competed with you...
but not now :((

In btw am blogrolling u

Blogger g-man said...

sriram: ye gads! took me forever to realise it was you! lol i'll check in a bit :D

Blogger g-man said...

maca: whee, i made you laugh! why the frowny face?

you found that sentence funny? its a fact ya know!

and yep, i've hyperlinked the numbers 1 and 2 :D

Blogger g-man said...

sach: wow, thanks a bunch! rite back at ya :)

Blogger MaStEr KeNoBi said...

haha.. nice work bro.. now comes the hard part.. keeping ur room that way.. good luck with that..

Blogger ceedy said...

Why would you waste time doing this when you know you cant sustain it more than few days....

Blogger g-man said...

bob: you know me man...not happening!

ceedy: hell i have no problem with my room being a mess. ma absolutely insisted that we clean it up, and so i tagged along (to sneak stuff out of the 'throw away pile' and toss them onto the loft :D)

Blogger Reflections said...

HEHEEEEE oops sorry. reminds me of my study table. the room used to be clean but my study desk used to be mess. when I cleaned it up(like once in eons) I wd find everything from spoons to dog biscuits to lost money:-D.

Blogger g-man said...

nancy: my study table is deplorable as well. plans of cleaning it up today have been postponed indefinitely. i doubt i have dog biscuits, but the human variety will definitely be there

Blogger Thinking-of-a-pen-name said...

hehe that was funny...lov ya style f writin;)

Blogger g-man said...

thinking: thanks for dropping by. and thank you very much for the compliment :)

Blogger Reine de mots said...

my sis n i used to compete for who can be messier. we also hav fits of cleanliness but somehow objects mysteriously move back to the floor. hw long did ur room stay clean?


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