i spy!!!

Ok, wow…for the first time in years, ma and I cleaned up my room. Those of you who have been there will know the extent of my messiness. This post is for those of you who haven’t been to my room. Of course, I wrote the above sentences with the impression that there might be people reading who may/may not know me and who may/may not give a fuck. Or I’d just be talking to myself, which is quite like me, so I guess that doesn’t change things in the least! So, armed with my trusty (and favourite) chequered blue hanky, and looking like a complete arse (read as terrorist), I set out to assist ma in clearing my room. For those of you (imaginary or otherwise) who do not know me, my room is a total mess. If an earthquake hit, it’d only look better. It must have something to do with the fact that the more intelligent the person, the more of a mess they make :) (Make a pj out of this and I kick your butt from wherever you are to Papua New Guinea! If you live in Papua New Guinea…yay! Thanks for dropping by. I never thought someone from Papua New Guinea would read my blog. Where is Papua New Guinea anyways? I’m obsessed with the country! All right, getting back to the topic at hand…)

(Uh-sama byn G-man)

I think I have already briefed you about the messiness of my room. Ma took a quick survey and decided to take my suggestion, which was ‘lets just clean the stuff on the floor now’, which essentially consisted of approximately a metric tonne of stuff dating back to two million years before the antediluvian era. Here is what we found on my floor…in chronological order, of course. O yea, it’s only fair to remind you, I’m currently waiting for the final year of my four year graduate course to start (just one set of exams to get through). What does this have to do with anything? Just read (do I here an echo?)

1. A pile of my laundry (yea, I just pile them up in a corner of my room)

2. A pair of old socks…old as in really, really old!

3. Three umbrellas. Now I know why there’s an umbrella shortage at home. Unfortunately, my ma didn’t see the lighter side of it. I feel extremely lucky to have escaped unscathed after being face to face with ma holding a couple of pretty big (and hard) umbrellae in her hands. Btw, why the fuck isn’t the plural of umbrella ‘umbrellae’?

4. Underneath all of that, my cricket bat!!! I’ve been searching for it for ages now. I can finally play again :D

5. A couple of my old school bags. One even had the matchbox I took for our chemistry practicals. That prompted awkward questions, understandably, it being my ma. My snoopy servant (who was there to help us) rummaged through the bag, found the matchbox, specifically went to my ma (who was standing in the opposite corner and getting some fresh air by the window) and told her about the matchbox. Thank goodness they didn’t go through the bag I currently use. If they’d opened up the side compartment, the room would’ve been flooded with the smell of tobacco :|

6. There were three separate piles of stuff in my room. One wasn’t exactly a pile; it was the bag I took during my trip to Mumbai. It still had a couple of the jeans I had taken there. Ma just had to quip “do you plan on keeping them in that bag till your next trip to Mumbai”. I couldn’t come up with a good retort, so I just stuck my tongue out at her and grinned goofily. Moms just have to have the last word, don’t they?

7. And then we came to the pile. Chest high, it consisted of every book known to an ISC student (albeit covered in a nice thick layer of dust, cobwebs, and clumps of lizard poop). Rummaged through that for a while…found a coupla items that I wanted to save. Kinda had to throw the rest out because ma was glaring holes right through me when I looked at some of the stuff longingly. Fortunately for me, she went outside the room to get some more fresh air, and I snuck a few books and papers onto my shelf when she was gone *evil grin!*

8. As it turned out, the pile was piled up on top of a carton filled with my ninth and tenth standard books. That has given me the inspiration I needed to complete ‘stuff, part 3’ (see 1 and 2 here).

9. My dust allergy…new and improved

Obviously, the above process took an hour. Three people working for an hour can do quite a bit of work. Hell, my floor is clean! Now there’s just my chair, my table, my shelf, my draw, the compartment under my draw, my dresser and my loft left to clean up. We have planned on commencing with stage 2 of operation nut-job, on Saturday.