Thursday, June 12, 2008

the trip

ok, not boring evs wit a long and torturous exposition of my trip to mumbai. will just mention the salient points. i have to concur with deepti on this post of hers though. murphy does rule the universe. at least he did, during most part of the mumbai trip.

1. our flight from trivandrum to mumbai was scheduled to depart from the airport at the inhuman hour of 3.45. because all our lucky stars were out on that particular day, the flight departed at the still inhuman hour of 7.45. woke up early, bathed and got ready for bloody nothing!

2. mumbai airport is freaking huge! dad used to work there, 18 years ago. needless to say, there have been slight changes since then. we took a route he was familiar with, only to find out that it was the bloody wrong one. after we walked for the good part of half an hour, we finally found our way out of the airport. and oh joy! the exit we took was nowhere near a taxi stand. so i had to lug my inhumanly heavy bag and walk around until we found one...

3. it was bloody fucking hot there! that night it started raining though, so i thought things would get slightly better over there. i had trivandrum in mind when it actually started raining. mumbai is nothing like trivandrum, even when it comes to rains.

4. that very night, my dad and my uncle were drinking their way to oblivion. i couldn't take part in the revelry as my uncle was my mom's brother. dad didn't want news of my inebriatedness reaching anywhere within 26.9 parsecs of my mom. so i had to go awol for a little while to get my fix. then we ordered pizza :)

5. mumbai rains = x_X
mumbai traffic = x_X
mumbai (rains + traffic) = X_X

6. the taxi guys are honest for the most part. at least the ones we encountered were.

7. the next two days were (apart from the times i went awol) spent at the wedding we were there to attend. anyone who has been to a tamil brahmin wedding will know that they are long and elaborate affairs that involve one religious ceremony after another. there's this thingy where the guy is lifted by his uncle (who is helped generously by the guy's cousins because it ain't that easy to lift up a person onto one's shoulders) in order to mock-prevent the girl from garlanding him. then the girl's uncle lifts her up so that the garlanding can take place. i have never really understood the point of this ritual but its fun anyhow.

8. i am convinced that i want a simple wedding. no elaborate religious ceremonies, no fucking reason to go awol. just sign, get a marriage licence, and throw a huge party later (unlimited booze).

9. we then went back to my uncle's place and it was still raining bloody murder.

10. i got to spend some quality time with my cousin while dad and unc were, well, you know. she's the sweetest person in the world, and i'd've happily braved the mumbai rains and traffic just to meet her :) and no, i'm not just putting this up to make her feel good. she doesn't get time to read blogs.

11. we left my uncle's place on saturday night. the flight was scheduled to be early in the morning. my dad wanted to get to the airport early as he didn't want us to get stuck in the rain. we got out of my uncle's house by around 11.15 pm for our 5.35 am flight.

12. we spent all fucking night at the airport. i couldn't sleep because firstly, i don't sleep with people watching me, and secondly, my dad was snoring like one of them power drills, and that made people stare even more.

13. our 5.35 flight left at around 7.35. a twitchy, bloody-eyed and fucking irritated g-man walked onto the flight.

14. an even more twitchy, bloody-eyed and even more fucking irritated g-man got down at trivandrum airport at 10 am. the flight had a stopover at cochin, and i knew i wouldn't be getting any sleep all day (i can't sleep during daytime unless i'm really sick)

and there we go. btw, if anyone sees murphy anywhere around, just tell me. i've got a tennis racket ready to sodomize him.

30 Comments:

Anonymous humbl devil said...

u came to bombay at the wrong time...my friend...and wi the wrong company...hehehe

22:54  
Blogger Ria said...

yeah u came to mumbai at the wrong time for sure!and these days traveling by flights has bcome a huge nuisance. Really feel bad thinkin abt ur plight. Hope u r relaxed nw! :)

23:12  
Blogger comfortably numb said...

xperiences, all of them dude!!!

02:12  
Blogger Macadamia The Nut said...

Rotfl!!!!!
Oh my! You seem to have had SUCH a marvelous interlude Jeeves! :D

05:24  
Blogger g-man said...

humbl: yes to both, my friend. next time i come there will be after i get a job. i'll make up for this time around then :D

ria: yea, doing ok now, thanks for asking! when is the right time to come to mumbai btw?

08:47  
Blogger g-man said...

numb: yea, well experiences for sure. i was hoping for better ones though :D

maca: ah yes, such a marvelous interlude. maybe next time i could try camping out at a demolition site :)

08:48  
Blogger HeraShort said...

Well at least the whole garlanding thing sounds pretty fun. The lack of sleep and the rain don't. Glad you are home safe and ok.

10:39  
Blogger vasu said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:01  
Blogger vasu said...

.gman,it was the wrong time to visit mumbai..so sad that u gt fucked up fr most of the time . .well written,i could get all the scenes in my mind.

11:07  
Blogger The Smokin' WDM2 said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:52  
Blogger The Smokin' WDM2 said...

mumbai is nothing like trivandrum, even when it comes to rains. Yet, there isnt a drop of fuckin rain here now... WTF happened to the monsoon? First time in my life....

anyone who has been to a tamil brahmin wedding will know that they are long and elaborate affairs that involve one religious ceremony after another. Well, I was reminded of this... It's plain fun, as you said :)

and throw a huge party later (unlimited booze). Call, me, will ya ;)

she's the sweetest person in the world, and i'd've happily braved the mumbai rains and traffic just to meet her :) Cousin sisters ARE the sweetest people in the world... I 've also felt the same!

and Murphy *growl* well after you're finished with him, lug him over to me... He is solely responsible for his bloody laws. And I hold him responsible for whatever happened to me during April.

11:54  
Blogger The Smokin' WDM2 said...

damn.. forgot to put the .. tags.. well its upto you to make sense of that comment.

11:56  
Blogger Ankur said...

kuch achi khabar hai!!! :P

;)

welcme back!!!

Cheers!!

13:39  
Anonymous humbl devil said...

winters...

14:07  
Blogger Nirmal said...

hahah
...yup mumbai really irritating in rainy season...

good u reached kerala back..

16:25  
Blogger Deepti said...

Oh oh .. Murphy and his tamashas ... forgive him .. he is even worse when provoked :D

17:19  
Blogger g-man said...

hera: yea, its fun. not too much fun when it was my cousin. i had to help lift him up. he's bloody heavy!!!

vasu: thanks macha...

17:22  
Blogger g-man said...

sriram: yea not a drop. except the 1-minute shower that occurred on my way to loyola today! and you don't drink alcohol do you?

ankur: thanks bro

17:23  
Blogger g-man said...

devil: ah, i shall keep that in mind next time i plan a trip there. maybe we could go on a drinking spree then?

deepti: o0o now i really wanna provoke him. then he's gonna see my dark side *evil laugh*

17:24  
Blogger Poo said...

Murphy sure kicked ur ass on this trip!!! lol about the thing the u want to do to his ass with a tennis racket:))))) lol!!

too bad u went to bombay at during the pouring rain. Bombay can be fabulous otherwise, but of course I am totally biased!!! And early morning flights suck!!!!! Whenever I take an early morning flight I always get stuck next to a kid..who is usually screming his lungs out and once a kid who a puking!!! Murphy is a jackass!

17:58  
Blogger g-man said...

poo: :P he did sooo not kick my ass. hmph! meano!!!

i luv mumbai even though i've only been there a coupla times that i can remember. i think its wayyyyyyyyyy better than bangalore. i hope i get a job in mumbai after i graduate :) i dunno what i'd do if i had to go go bangalore!

18:01  
Blogger Akshay said...

"dad didn't want news of my inebriatedness reaching anywhere within 26.9 parsecs of my mom"

LMAO

I went to Mumbai once....it was crowded as hell... well Delhi is crowded too but not the way Mumbai it... It's so fuckin irritating to wait at airports...

20:25  
Blogger Beauty and the BEast said...

:D

That was an entertaining read! I wish you had had more fun.. but honestly you were smiling as you wrote this, werent you?

If you are not.. give it some time.. it will be one of the best stories you will regale on some drunken night with friends!!

20:40  
OpenID vishvsambyal said...

dudeeeeeee..why was ur bag super heavy....u were lugging around all ur porn cd's or what...dnt dude...thts valuable stuff...dnt spoil it ..LOL. MUAHAHHAHAHA

21:14  
Blogger ceedy said...

I really think you LOVED your trip....welcome to mumbai and if you found that airport big ...man wait till you travel here.....

This will remain in your Fucking memory :P

04:22  
Blogger g-man said...

akshay: yea mumbai is crowded, but i still like it a lot! maybe its too early to tell but i'm willing to risk it :)

beauty: yea, it was fun recollecting the trip :D oh, i already regaled it on a drunken er...afternoon with friends :P

09:28  
Blogger g-man said...

samby: nah, i don't have any porn cds! :P wen i wanna watch, i just download, watch and delete :D

ceedy: yea, really loved it! and i did travel a little bit. we stayed with my uncle in thane on the first day. had to go to the wedding in andheri. then we came back, and on saturday, we visited a few relatives in colaba. mumbai is freaking huge!!!

09:30  
Blogger Keshi said...

hahahahaha!

Keshi.

11:12  
Blogger Nancy said...

LOL, a good read. I have a feeling that the thot of pouring it out on ur blog is what 'just' sustained u.

and always call flight enquiry before leaving for the airport. 'Sometimes' it helps:-P.

p.s dad snoring like them power drills...LOL

13:49  
Blogger g-man said...

keshi: NOT funny! :P

nancy: spot on! i knew i wanted to blog about the trip throughout!!! flight enquiry? rain delays in both cases so the flight delay was unexpected. the planes couldn't even land in the airport coz of the rains! the initial delay at tvm though, i have no clue what that one was for!

17:31  

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