Sunday, May 18, 2008

arbit stuff

why, you ask yourself...and its not the first time. its kinda hard to try to comprehend most of the stuff you do because you're never in complete control of what you think. every single fucking decision you make could've been different if you had been in a different state of mind. what makes it harder is the fact that you've been going down a road you know isn't the right one, but its the only choice that you're not blinded to. rather, the only choice that you are willing to see. you know it isn't the right one almost all the way to the very end of it. you stand there, in sight of the destination that you've been trying so hard to avoid, just trying to comprehend how utterly wrong you are. you've become so numb and distant that you no longer understand something that has been there with you your whole fucking life, something that brought you to a point that you were comfortable being at. its funny how you can warp and distort everything that happens/happened, just because of a single event. now you've distanced you from yourself, so much so that you try to hide behind a third person's point of view. wow, has it really come that far? i know i hate people telling me what to do, but i never realized that i've been so obsessed with that hate that i've come to a point where i am convinced that i should not do that exact thing. so do me a favour...don't fucking tell me what i should or shouldn't do. its my life, i'll fucking figure it out. i'm perspicacious enough to discern what's going to happen as a result of what i do, and i do not fucking appreciate it when you point it out to me. next time, i think i'll just say 'go fuck yourself' and be on my way. don't let it come to that. interpret this as you will, but just know that there are some of you i'd rather not lose.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see wat u r trying to tell.. yes.. i know its ur life.. but think abt it.. there are people who depend on u and want to see u having a good life. its not a sin to expect good from someone. And i have learnt that one may have a lot of money, power and everything he wants.. but having people who really care for u and want to see u happy.. now thats a rich man.. its not too bad to change for good and for people who care for u and by that it shows u care for them too..

"a wise man realises he is going the wrong way and instead of making others believe wat he is doing right, he changes direction and returns to the right way." and i believe u r wise..

Blogger HeraShort said...

I know I've only known of you for a very short while, but I hope that you find the right direction AND the one that makes you happy. Hopefully they're one in the same.

Blogger g-man said...

bob: nobody depends on me...not now, and i doubt if anyone ever will. there are people i care about, and i'm there for them. i know they're there for me too, but sometimes they just say the wrong things. i do not expect anyone to understand, i expect them to just be there. i have screwed stuff up for myself, let me find my own way out of it, as i'm sure i will. first, let me just find my way

hera: hopefully they are one and the same...i don't know yet

Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of us make mistakes. that doesnt mean we cant correct ourselves. just dont dwell on how bad u were in the past. then u will have time only to be miserable. life is like that mate.
So keep ur chin up.. there are a lot of nice things waiting out there for u.. its just a matter of being patient for it..

Blogger Macadamia The Nut said...

*bear hug!*

Not saying another word. Uh uh. No siree!

Blogger Keshi said...

aww wut happened? I hope it isnt ME that happened hehe.

** you're never in complete control of what you think.

I so my today's post, its along the same lines!


Blogger g-man said...

maca: awww tyvm. bearhug returned

keshi: lol naw, it isn't you. you've never told me wat to do. i don't mind when people who've been in a similar place tell me wat i can do, but i do not like anyone forcing it onto me. reading your post in 5 4 3 2 1

Blogger Keshi said...

Im glad to know that :)

but after my last post, alot of ppl hv taken me wrong..they think Im asking them to comment on my every post. LOL and I hate that tag, cos thats not what I meant. o how do I get some ppl to u'stand what Im trying to say. :(


Blogger g-man said... could do another post and mention this in there somewhere, but is it really worth it if they misunderstand the simplest of things you say?

Blogger Keshi said...

I know..I should stop going ard in circles. *rolling eyes*

tnxx G-man! :)



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