Wednesday, August 23, 2006

rUminaTiOns of A ConstiPatEd cOW

my apologies to any cow lovers out there who are insulted by the title. i do not intend to besmirch the reputation, glory and exaltedness of cows. cows are co0o0o0ol. i just named this the way i did coz, well, i kinda couldn't think of anything else. the intensity of thought that goes into the near-fugue cows enter when they ruminate is something i've always found enthralling in its entirety. if people would sit (or stand, or lie down, or kneel, or walk, or run - though the last two could cause some degree of discomfort - or hang upside down from monkey-bars - this one as well i reckon - and, well, i think you get it by now even if you don't have a brain or yours went on strike or melted due to the intense radiation caused by being on your mobile phone all the bleeping while or quit...or if you had a lobotomy for that matter. i wonder if you'd actually be reading this if you had a lobotomy. even if you were reading this i wonder if you could comprehend anything. interesting...i think i'll have to research the effects of lobotomies on ppl. o i'll save that for later, so lets close this thing, it seems to be getting too damn long and i'm not exactly helping by typing in all this :D) and do that. cough up food of various degrees of undigestedness and chew on it all the while just thinkin of stuff. what stuff? you know, just stuff, stuff that matters to us as a whole. who knows? maybe cows could be thinking of stuff like quantum mechanics and gateways to parallel dimensions or the cure for aids or metaphysics or god or meybe even the ultimate question ('o0o what does this button do?!?'). i dare not speak of it, that's why i put it in parantheses. so some ppl who might actually read this will think that its the editor who has shoved it in there to serve his own self-centred, heartless, incomprehensive nature.

so i was just sitting there and doing this very thing, ruminating, minus the actual coughing up of stuff. my stomach was comparable to the fuel tank indicator being all the way upto full on the negative side. so there i was, just sitting there, feeling sleepy and ruminating. just then the worst thing that could happen did happen. a face that to me was eerily reminiscent of ye olde tapioca pudding walked in and demanded our absolute attention. the rest was a blur, an absolute blur. no, i did not give it my attention, duh! i was ruminating - and i think something actually did come up from my tummy tum tum heh heh...yea you got that bleeping-a right. it was that damn sickening.

o woe is me to have to have gone through that. the cow got me through it...i was in the same dire need as an extremely constipated cow who, unfortunately, has nothing to think about and whose sphincter needed some form of relief (cows can't cough up stuff when they have nothing to think about, sadly). fortunately, like the all-knowing, mighty and eternal cow, something did come to my mind to make me cough up something and finally get to think of something else...

all hail the cow!!! (constipated or not)


Blogger Fantasia said...

hail the cow indeed!!! lol...

Blogger Fantasia said...

u r rite...i did like it!

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